49+ Funny Responses to “Why Are You Crying?”: Playful & Sarcastic Replies

Crying can happen for a multitude of reasons, from feeling overwhelmed with emotions to cutting up onions. Sometimes, a lighthearted, humorous response can help diffuse an uncomfortable situation and put everyone at ease. So when someone inquires about your tears, considering a witty, funny reply. It might just lighten the mood and provide some comedic relief!

Playful Comebacks

“I’m selling tears door-to-door. Care to buy some?”

This cheeky response pokes fun at the situation by comparing your tears to a product being sold. The absurd notion of selling tears can catch the asker off guard and hopefully provoke some laughter. It’s a clever way to deflect from the real reason while injecting some humor.

• “Practicing my fire hose impression.”
• “I have a very serious allergy to ___ (insert something silly).”
• “The onions started it!”
• “I was watching a movie about a really tiny umbrella.”
• “Someone stole my pet rock. I’m heartbroken.”
• “This is how I get my daily dose of salt.”
• “My tear ducts were feeling underappreciated.”
• “I burnt a batch of cookies and had to drink my feelings.”
• “I just watched the end of Marley & Me for the 100th time.”

Sarcastic Quips

“No, I just really love squinting.”

Sarcasm offers a humorously biting way to respond when you’d rather not reveal the real reason behind your tears. This sarcastic gem implies the question itself is silly by providing an nonsensical yet snarky alternative explanation.

• “Watering the carpets. Very eco-friendly.”
• “I’m a big fan of red, puffy eyes – it’s the latest look.”
• “It’s raining on my face.”
• “I’m just preparing for my future as a soap opera actor.”
• “Tears are nature’s makeup remover.”
• “There was a spicy dust particle in my eye. From the 1800s.”
• “My eyes were feeling bloated, needed to drain them.”
• “Why else would I have drenched my face if not for fun?”
• “I’m training to be a professional crier at funerals.”

Clever Retorts

“I was just reading the dictionary, it’s surprisingly emotional.”

Sometimes a smart, witty response can turn the tables by portraying you as unflappably calm and pulling one over on the asker. This example creates an entertainingly odd juxtaposition between dry reading material and having an emotional reaction.

• “What, you’ve never seen a grown person cry before?”
• “I just remembered I forgot to DVR Game of Thrones last night.”
• “I’m actually just leaking brain fluid. Long story.”
• “My laundry basket was overflowing with unstoppable emotion.”
• “Laughing and crying are the same thing, right?”
• “I watched an instructional video on crying earlier. Surprisingly moving.”
• “Someone put onions in my breakfast smoothie as a prank.”
• “Have you seen avocado prices lately? I’m in mourning.”
• “My pet goldfish just got married. I’m a proud parent.”

Silly Explanations

“I accidentally built an ultra-powerful laser pointer.”

By giving a patently ridiculous explanation for your tears, you can throw the question right back at the asker in an entertaining way. The more outlandish and unrealistic the scenario you paint, the funnier the response lands.

• “My superpowers are finally kicking in: heat vision.”
• “I’m a wizard and I just messed up a spell, happens all the time.”
• “You wouldn’t understand, it’s a very niche type of hay fever.”
• “I’m not crying, I’m just incredibly amazing at crying on command.”
• “The brain freeze from my milkshake was just too intense.”
• “I’ve beenbinge-watching saddest viral videos to build empathy.”
• “It’s an optical illusion – look closer and you’ll see I’m all smiles!”
• “My tear ducts are striking for better working conditions.”
• “I didn’t say ‘mouse milk’ three times fast, so tears of failure.”

Laughing It Off

“I’m crying tears of laughter imagining you saying that with a straight face.”

Turning the tables by acting overly amused at their question can disarm the situation and leave the asker unsure of how to respond. By portraying their inquiry as unintentionally humorous, you avoid having to actually answer.

• “Wait, was that meant to be a funny question? I don’t get it.”
• “If your face was meant to make me cry, well…mission accomplished!”
• “Wow, you’ve got jokes! No but really, I’m impressed with the comedy.”
• “Did you rehearse that line? The delivery was stellar!”
• “And the award for ‘Question That Makes No Sense’ goes to…”
• “I’m just so overwhelmed by your powerful curiousity. It’s too much!”
• “Was that your attempt at humor? I’ve got to give you props for trying!”
• “I’m flattered you think I’m coordinated enough to cry on purpose.
• “You know what they say, laughter is just socially appropriate crying.”

Awkward Deflections

“Why not? Crying is very trendy these days.”

Sometimes playing into the awkwardness with an overly confident, matter-of-fact response can be its own form of humor. By brazenly leaning into the discomfort, you nudge the asker into shared embarrassment.

• “Does it make you uncomfortable? Want to join me?”
• “Call me Mother Nature – making it rain is my specialty.”
• “You must be new here. We cry about everything, didn’t you get the memo?”
• “It’s all the rage! Maybe you’re just not quirky enough to understand.”
• “What’s your excuse for not crying more often? It’s so liberating.”
• “I have a condition where I cry protein-rich tears. Trustme, it’s a thing.”
• “If you have to ask, you’ll never know the sweet, sweet release.”
• “I’m actually acting out an avant-garde one-person performance piece.”
• “I’m a method actor preparing for a very emotional scene. This? It’s nothing.”

Blame It On Something

“The Wi-Fi was just having some connectivity issues.”

Another fun approach is blaming your tears on an unrelated but amusing circumstance to create confusion and prompt laughter. The sillier the scapegoat you can provide, the more entertaining the response!

• “My horoscope said I’d be an emotional wreck all week.”
• “You just caught me in the middle of monk training exercises.”
• “I really overwatered my plants this morning, I feel terrible.”
• “My stuffed animal collection is just so beautiful, I can’t help it.”
• “I keep forgetting the lyrics to the alphabet song!”
• “It’s this danged pollen; allergies are no joke, my friend.”
• “My biorhythms have been in peak melancholy mode lately.”
• “I dropped my favorite pencil and the lead broke. 🙁 “
• “Tell me about it, I ugly cried through the whole IKEA instruction manual too.”

Self-Deprecating Humor

“What can I say, I’m a master of the puppy dog pout!”

Using self-deprecating humor can be an effective way to poke fun at yourself and the situation in a disarming, relatable way. By leaning into embarrassment with a dollop of self-awareness, you demonstrate you don’t take yourself too seriously.

• “I’m just a sensitive soul, a modern-day Shakespeare if you will!”
• “You’ve heard of resting b**** face? Well I’ve got resting sad face.”
• “What’s my motivation? I’m a method crier, it’s how I keep myself humble.”
• “Leave me alone, I’m hideous when I cry! Or…always. Same difference.”
• “I’m actually incapable of hiding my emotions. It’s a curse, really.”
• “My allergies have allergies, so you can imagine the waterworks.”
• “Crying is my superpower – hence why I do it at every opportunity!”
• “What can I say? I’m a big fan of under-eye puffiness and mascara streaks.”
• “Don’t judge me, this is just how I always look. Permanent Cry Face.”

Turning the Tables

“You know what, why are you not crying right now?”

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense! Flipping the script and questioning the asker about their own emotional state can catch them off guard and defuse the situation entirely.

• “That’s rich coming from you, Mr/Ms Sensitivity!”
• “Don’t be jealous of my well-hydrated tear ducts, Susan.”
• “If you have to ask, you’re already behind the curve emotionally.”
• “I could ask you the same thing – are you crying on the inside?”
• “I think the better question is, why aren’t you crying with me?”
• “No need to make fun, we can’t all be as emotionally stunted as you!”
• “Aw, is someone feeling a little left out of the cry club?”
• “Your face is next if you keep prying into my very natural bodily functions.”
• “Oh I’m sorry, am I not being sensitive enough for your tastes?”

How to Reply to a Girl

When a girl asks “Why are you crying?”, it’s often well-intentioned concern and not just curiosity. Gently deflecting with humor shows you don’t need consoling while avoiding vulnerability until you’re ready. Some responses like “Oh, just reminiscing about our first date” or “I was watching rom-coms without you” can gently make fun of the situation while involving her in a playful way.

However, be cautious with sarcasm as it can easily come across as hostile. Aim for lighthearted, clever quips to avoid sending the wrong message.

How to Reply to a Guy

With guys, there may be a greater tendency for humor to hide discomfort around emotional situations. You can lean into that by responding in a joking, matter-of-fact tone: “Just practicing my tear ducts, bro.” Or go for the absurd: “That movie about the world’s smallest horse just gets me every time.”

Playful, slightly self-deprecating humor can put you both at ease. That said, be mindful that some guys may react poorly to sarcasm aimed at them. When in doubt, go for droll yet inoffensive wit. It’s a win-win – you get to have some fun while also gently shutting down any prying.

Key Takeaways

1. Humor is a Superpower: A witty, funny response can quickly defuse an awkward situation around crying.
2. Read the Room: Tailor your humor to your audience. With women, lean towards playful quips. With men, droll self-deprecation often lands well.
3. Have Fun With It: Crying may feel embarrassing, but you can own it with a clever comeback. The sillier, the better!

A Tearful Laugh is Worth a Million Cries

While crying can sometimes trigger discomfort or even shame, meeting it with humor and levity reminds us not to take life so seriously. The next time tears start flowing in public, considering having a laugh at the situation with a funny, off-the-wall response. It’ll show you’re unshaken while letting you bond over some much-needed comedic relief. Who knows, you might just start a giggle fit!