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Comebacks to “How Are You” 😏: Flirty, Funny, Sarcastic, and More!

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Michele Stills

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Rizz Comebacks

Charismatic and smooth responses to show off your confidence.

  • “Better now that I’m talking to you.”
  • “Living my best life, want to join?”
  • “Thriving, but I’d be unstoppable with you by my side.”
  • “Feeling blessed, especially now that you’re here.”
  • “On top of the world, care to join me up here?”
  • “Absolutely incredible, but I bet you could make it even better.”
  • “Living the dream, and you’re the best part of it.”
  • “Feeling like a million bucks, but you’re priceless.”
  • “Fantastic, but I have a feeling you could make it extraordinary.”
  • “Blessed and highly favored, especially with you around.”

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Funny Comebacks

Hilarious responses to keep the mood light and entertaining.

  • “I’m doing so well, I’m thinking of bottling this feeling and selling it.”
  • “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”
  • “I’m so good, I’m considering starting a fan club for myself.”
  • “I’m like a diamond in the sky – twinkle twinkle, baby!”
  • “I’m so awesome, I high-five myself in the mirror every morning.”
  • “I’m doing better than a unicorn eating cupcakes on a rainbow.”
  • “I’m so good, I make Chuck Norris look like a wimp.”
  • “I’m finer than frog hair split four ways.”
  • “I’m cooler than a polar bear’s toenails.”
  • “I’m so great, I just got a standing ovation from my furniture.”

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Sarcastic Comebacks

Sharp and witty remarks for those who appreciate a bit of sarcasm.

  • “I’m doing as well as anyone can in a world where that question still exists.”
  • “I’m living the dream – someone else’s dream, but still.”
  • “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. And I’m too tired for that today.”
  • “On a scale from ‘meh’ to ‘ugh’, I’d say I’m at a solid ‘bleh’.”
  • “I’m so good, I’m thinking of trademarking this level of awesomeness.”
  • “I’m doing better than I deserve, which isn’t saying much.”
  • “I’d say I’m a solid 3.7 out of 5 – not great, not terrible.”
  • “I’m functioning at the bare minimum required by society. You?”
  • “I’m surviving – not thriving, but hey, it’s something.”
  • “I’m doing so well, I might actually make it through this conversation.”

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Witty Comebacks

Clever responses that showcase your quick thinking and intelligence.

  • “I’m functioning at optimal capacity within the parameters of my current circumstances.”
  • “I’m oscillating between existential dread and euphoric optimism. The usual.”
  • “I’m currently operating at 73% efficiency with a 27% margin for improvement.”
  • “I’m navigating the labyrinth of life with occasional moments of clarity.”
  • “I’m calibrating my emotional barometer to align with societal expectations.”
  • “I’m in a state of quantum superposition – simultaneously fine and not fine.”
  • “I’m experiencing a temporary suspension of existential angst.”
  • “I’m riding the sine wave of life, currently on an upswing.”
  • “I’m maintaining a delicate equilibrium between chaos and order.”
  • “I’m exploring the depths of human potential while sipping my morning coffee.”

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Flirty Comebacks

Charming responses to show your romantic side and spark interest.

  • “I’m doing great, but I’d be even better with your number in my phone.”
  • “I’m good, but I’d be fantastic if you agreed to go out with me.”
  • “I’m feeling lucky today. Want to test that theory over dinner?”
  • “I’m doing well, but I bet I’d be doing even better if we were on a date right now.”
  • “I’m great, but I have a feeling I’d be perfect if you were mine.”
  • “I’m feeling a bit under the weather. Know any cute doctors who make house calls?”
  • “I’m doing fine, but I’d be over the moon if you said yes to a coffee date.”
  • “I’m good, but I’d be better if you were holding my hand right now.”
  • “I’m feeling a bit lonely. Care to keep me company?”
  • “I’m doing alright, but I’d be on cloud nine if you agreed to be my plus-one this weekend.”

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Roast Comebacks

Burning responses for when you need to serve some heat.

  • “Better than you look, apparently.”
  • “I was doing great until you asked.”
  • “I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons handy.”
  • “Compared to you? I’m living my best life.”
  • “I’d be better if you hadn’t interrupted my peace and quiet.”
  • “I’m doing so well, I almost didn’t notice how badly you’re doing.”
  • “I’m fantastic. You should try it sometime.”
  • “Better than you’ll ever be, sweetie.”
  • “I was having a good day until I saw your face.”
  • “I’m doing well enough to recognize a train wreck when I see one.”

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