When someone sends you a FWB request out of the blue, it can catch you off guard. Your first reaction might be “How do I respond to this?!” Before crafting a reply, take a deep breath. There are many routes you can take – from flirty and fun to savage and sassy.
I decided to make this guide after my friend was bombarded with cringey messages from a former Tinder match. She needed help navigating the situation gracefully. Whether you want to gently turn them down or fire back with a witty comeback, I’ve covered all the bases in this article. Keep scrolling for 30+ responses and more ideas tailored to different scenarios.
30 Ways to Respond to FWB Requests
Before unleashing any sassy replies, make sure you feel comfortable with the direction of the conversation. If comments ever cross a line or make you uneasy, don’t hesitate to block or report the person.
With that said, here are 30 playable responses:
- “Aren’t we moving a bit fast here? Let’s chat normally first.”
- “Hmm not what I was expecting, but noted.”
- “LOL! Subtle.”
- “Down, boy.”
- “You must have a lot of confidence to ask that right off the bat!”
- “I don’t know you well enough for that level of friendship…”
- “Wow, cutting right to the chase!”
- “Do lines like that usually work for you?”
- “Sorry, I left my fwb application back in college. Can’t help you out there!”
- “I appreciate you putting yourself out there, but I’ll pass.”
- “A bold request from someone I just met!”
- “That escalated quickly! Maybe we could grab coffee first?”
- “Flattered, but no thank you!”
- “I prefer taking things slow, but let’s chat first!”
- “Marriage first, then we can revisit this request later.”
- “Hmm, I don’t love the assumption here. I’m not that type of girl.”
- “LOL! Wrong app, try Tinder.”
- “Thanks but no thanks!”
- “Oh honey no, we are not on that level.”
- “Cute, but this isn’t a match.com situtation!”
- “Down girl/boy!”
- “You must be confused, this isn’t a booty call hotline.”
- “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass for now.”
- “Straight to the point, I see!”
- “Maybe after the third date we can reassess.”
- “Oh wow, um thanks but I’m not interested.”
- “That’s bold of you to ask!”
- “I don’t know you like that yet. Let’s chat and get to know each other first!”
- “Marriage first, then I’ll consider it!”
Getting an out of the blue FWB request can be jarring. While you don’t need to unleash a full clapback, having a few savage responses up your sleeve is handy for overly pushy creeps. Use these sassy comebacks sparingly towards people who just don’t get the hint:
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- “New phone, who dis?”
- “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”
- “This conversation is drier than the Sahara Desert right now.”
- “Aww, that’s cute. Bless your heart.”
- “I’d rather eat a cactus, but thanks.”
- “My dog has better pickup lines than you.”
- “Do you kiss your mother with that potty mouth?”
- “I’m sweeter than honey, but you still couldn’t affort me.”
- “Your game is about as existent as unicorns and leprechauns.”
- “If I wanted disappointment, I’d talk to my parents.”
Witty Comebacks
If you prefer a more playful style over savage shutdowns, whip out one of these witty responses:
- “Netflix and NO chill!”
- “Cute, but I don’t remember swiping right on you.”
- “Friends with benefits? Honey I barely even know your name.”
- “Do lines like that ever actually work for you?”
- “Wow, you’re really cutting to the chase here!”
- “That has got to be the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”
- “I think you’ve got the wrong idea here. Let’s start over with basic human decency.”
- “Might want to work on your subtlety a bit there!”
- “Hmm let me check my schedule real quick…nope no time for f*ckboys!”
- “Wow I don’t even get dinner first, just straight to it huh?”
Pop Culture Call Outs
For all the meme lords and pop culture junkies, reference a viral trend or sassy TV/movie quote:
- “Per my last email, I’ll have to pass.”
- “New fwb request, who dis?”
- “I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend.”
- “Well that was bold, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.”
- “Sir this is a Wendy’s, we don’t offer those services here.”
- “Did we just become best friends?? YUP!”
- “I love inside jokes…I’d love to be part of one someday.”
- “Bless your heart.”
- “And I oop-“
- “I don’t speak fuckboy-ese, come again?”
- “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!”
Polite But Firm Responses
If you want to let someone down easy without ghosting, go the polite but firm route:
- “I’m flattered, but not comfortable with that idea right now.”
- “Appreciate you putting yourself out there, but I’ll have to pass.”
- “I prefer taking relationships slow at first. Let’s chat normally.”
- “Not quite the direction I saw things going, but noted.”
- “I’d prefer keeping things platonic between us.”
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Brutal Honesty
And for those times you just want to be 1000% real:
- “Hard pass. Let’s not go there.”
- “LOL forever at this request.”
- “I apologize if I somehow gave you the wrong impression here.”
- “I’m looking for something more meaningful.”
- “Yeah no, that’s definitely not happening but good effort!”
Top 10 Editor’s Choice Responses
“I appreciate the invite, but I’d prefer keeping things friendly between us.”
This response firmly establishes boundaries without being overly harsh. It leaves the door open for a normal friendship while making it clear an FWB situation won’t transpire.
When to use: When someone you newly met makes an advance and you want to politely decline.
When not to use: For overly aggressive or vulgar requests.
“I don’t love the assumptions here. I’m not that type of girl/guy.”
If you want to check someone’s intentions, this reply calls out problematic assumptions while speaking your truth. It calls them in rather than attacking their character.
When to use: When someone makes blanket assumptions about your interests.
When not to use: With close friends who know you well.
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“We’re not on that level yet, but let’s chat and get to know each other first!”
This response reminds the asker you two don’t know each other well enough for that request yet. It leaves room for a normal conversation without shaming.
When to use: Early on with new matches or bare acquaintances.
When not to use: In long-term close relationships.
“Flattered, but I’ll have to pass for now. Let’s talk though!”
If you want to gently turn down an advance without burning bridges, try this warm yet firm reply. It focuses on your feelings rather than attacking the asker.
When to use: When you want to let someone down easy but make your stance clear.
When not to use: For super vulgar, inappropriate requests.
“Did we just become best friends?? YUP!”
Memes and pop culture references inject humor when declining an unwanted advance. This lighthearted comeback makes your boundaries known without being harsh.
When to use: When you want a clever, sarcastic response.
When not to use: If sarcasm could escalate the situation.
“Getting drinks first might be better before jumping to friends with benefits!”
This response politely pumps the breaks and suggests meeting first before escalating to an FWB. It reminds the asker you two haven’t even met yet.
When to use: Early with a new match when you want to slow things down.
When not to use: After already establishing a friendship or relationship.
Also Read:
“I’m not comfortable with that right now, but let’s talk normally!”
For direct clarity without attacking the asker, this reply states your stance kindly but firmly. It focuses the conversation on your feelings and boundaries.
When to use: When being clear is important but you don’t want to hurt feelings.
When not to use: With close friends if a softer approach would work better.
“I’d prefer not to go the fwb route, but tell me more about [insert subject change]!”
If you want to smoothly change course from an unwanted advance, redirect to a new topic. Make your stance clear kindly, then engage on something else.
When to use: When redirecting could help move the conversation elsewhere.
When not to use: If the asker seems volatile or aggressive.
“New fwb request, who dis?”
For a snarky, sassy vibe, use this viral meme format. It calls out the unusual nature of the ask while injecting humor.
When to use: With overly confident requests from vague acquaintances.
When not to use: In professional settings or with those you want to maintain relationships with.
“Hmm too soon for that! But what’s your favorite pizza topping?”
Lighten an awkward advance with playful banter instead of attacking the person. Redirect from the unwanted request to a silly new topic.
When to use: To redirect tension into a fun new chat direction.
When not to use: If playfulness could come across annoying or rude.
How to Reply to Girls
When a girl makes an unexpected FWB advance, react kindly even if you aren’t interested. These responses make your boundaries clear while avoiding shame:
- “I’m flattered, but would prefer keeping our friendship platonic.”
- “I don’t see you that way right now, but think you’re awesome!”
- “Thanks for the invite! I don’t feel we know each other well enough for that move yet.”
- “Appreciate the interest, but I’m not looking for a friends with benefits thing currently.”
Shift the focus to your feelings and boundaries rather than attacking her character. This technique prevents escalating tension while being direct. If she continues pressing past clear “no’s,” you may need to block her.
How to Reply to Guys
When guys make FWB requests, some react poorly to harsh shutdowns. Use these responses to deflate tension:
- “I’d prefer we keep things casual as friends for now!”
- “Not quite the direction I was thinking for us, but good effort!”
- “I don’t see you in that light yet, but think we could be good platonic friends!”
- “Haha, well that was unexpected! I don’t think I can swing a friends with benefits thing though.”
These replies aren’t overly warm and fuzzy, but prevent hurting his ego with brutal shutdowns. They also clearly state your intentions, avoiding any confusion.
In a Relationship Already
If you’re already dating someone, make that clear by responding:
- “I’m flattered, but already in a happy relationship.”
- “As intriguing as that sounds, I have a significant other so I’ll pass.”
- “Thanks for the offer, but I’m dating someone currently.”
Short and sweet is best here. Simply stating you’re off the market due to a relationship is sufficient. No need to justify or explain further!
When It’s Your Ex
Exes can make complicated FWB requests. Proceed carefully by responding:
- “I don’t think that’s wise given our history.”
- “As interesting as revisiting that sounds, I’d rather not open that can of worms.”
- “I’m flattered, but don’t know if that’s healthy given how things ended with us.”
These responses highlight the risky nature of ex-sex without attacking their character. If your ex accepts the decline, cleanly cut contact after to avoid blurring boundaries.
Conclusion
When responding to “wanna be FWB” requests, tailor your reaction to the context and person. Kindly declining overly confident strangers differs greatly from rejecting an ex wanting to rekindle the flame. Regardless of your reply, make self-care the priority.
Don’t hesitate to block anyone igniting discomfort. And if a consensual, ethical arrangement sounds enticing – have fun safely exploring that! Just communicate boundaries clearly first and foremost.