How to Respond to ‘What Are You Thinking About’: 30+ Witty And Savage Comebacks

We’ve all been there. You’re zoning out, lost in your own little world, when someone interrupts your thoughts to ask “What are you thinking about?” It can be awkward trying to come up with a response on the spot. Should you try to explain the random stream of consciousness that was just going through your head? Brush it off with a simple “nothing”? Or get clever with a snarky retort?

I decided to write this article after an incident where a friend caught me daydreaming and asked what I was thinking about. When I stumbled over a vague response, she called me out for clearly having some juicy thoughts that I didn’t want to share. 😳 That got me thinking about better ways to respond when put on the spot.

If you don’t want to divulge your private musings, but don’t want to seem suspicious either, then keep reading. Below I’ve put together a list of 30 witty, funny, and savage comebacks to use when someone asks what’s on your mind. I’ve got responses for all situations – whether you want to make them laugh, gently tell them to buzz off, or let them know they shouldn’t have asked…if they can’t handle the truth. 😉

30 Clever Responses to “What Are You Thinking About”

Before jumping into the list, I should note that that you know your audience best. The examples below range from playful banter amongst close friends to snarky replies aimed at nosy strangers. Choose your response accordingly! Okay, let’s get into it:

Wondering if anyone would notice if I left work early.

Trying to remember if I turned the stove off before leaving the house.

Debating if I should tell you the truth or spare your feelings.

Honestly…you. 😏

Imagining how great it would be if food magically appeared anytime I was hungry.

Wishing this conversation would end.

Reminiscing about my crazy dream last night.

Considering a career change to professional nap taker.

Trying to read your mind since you’re so curious about my thoughts!

I’ll tell you for $20.

Contemplating the meaning of life…you know, typical Monday stuff.

Sorry, I signed an NDA regarding the contents of my consciousness.

I was wondering if penguins have knees.

Debating whether I should tell you the truth or just keep you guessing.

Trying to remember where I left my keys.

Making a mental list of comebacks for the next time someone rudely interrupts my daydreaming.

Wouldn’t you like to know…

Imagining myself lounging on a tropical beach far away from here!

I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.

Contemplating the meaning of “average” and whether any individual human can actually be average.

Wondering if anyone would judge me for having ice cream for breakfast.

Can’t tell if you actually care or if you’re just being nosy. 🧐

Wouldn’t it be crazy if mind reading became an actual thing!

Wishing I had telekinetic powers so I could pass you the salt without moving.

Trying to decide if I should lie to avoid awkwardness or tell the embarrassing truth.

Sorry, my thoughts are classified.

Analyzing the aerodynamics of cats in case that knowledge ever becomes useful.

Also Read: How to Respond to ‘You’re Hot’: 30+ Witty And Savage Comebacks

Funny Responses

We all enjoy some lighthearted humor. If you want to keep things breezy and make them chuckle, try one of these funny retorts when asked what you’re thinking about:

1. Just laughing to myself imagining a hippo trying to twerk.
2. Wondering if monkeys ever get songs stuck in their heads.
3. Daydreaming about winning the lottery and quitting my job in some wildly dramatic fashion.
4. Imagining my cat getting famous on TikTok. Like, going viral levels of fame.
5. Trying to guess the flavor of chicken the cafeteria is serving today…my money is on cardboard.
6. Laughing at funny meme I saw earlier – here, let me show you! distract them with phone
7. Wouldn’t it be weird if instead of planes there were giant birds that carried people around..like fluffy air taxis?
8. What do sheep count when they’re trying to fall asleep…humans??
9. Contemplating what the world’s funniest joke is. Wanna brainstorm with me?
10. Wondering whether spiders get annoyed when humans scream because they’re scared of something 1/100th their size.

Savage Responses

If you want to snarkily tell them to mind their own beeswax, these saucy comebacks should do the trick:

1. Thinking about how peaceful things were 30 seconds ago before you started grilling me.
2. Mentally ranking how annoying people’s voices are. Give them side-eye
3. Considering creative ways I could get out of ever having to speak to you again.
4. Wouldn’t YOU like to know, weirdo.
5. Imagining this conversation if I had zero filter and could just tell people off for being nosy. sigh
6. Wishing it was socially acceptable to wear noise-canceling headphones everywhere to avoid inane questions.
7. Regretting not telling more lies on my resume so I could get a different job away from nosy co-workers.
8. Thinking about how I’d explain this conversation to my therapist later.
9. Contemplating a future where I don’t have to pretend I don’t find you utterly insufferable.
10. Googling “how to get nosy people to leave you alone.”

ALso Read: How to Respond to ‘No One Asked’: 30+ Witty And Savage Comebacks

Flirty Responses

If there’s romantic chemistry, use the opportunity to get flirty with one of these cheeky responses:

1. Imagining what it would be like to kiss you. bite lip
2. Wondering if you find me as attractive as I find you. slow smile
3. Daydreaming about taking you out on a date wink
4. Thinking about how cute you are when you’re curious about me. playful grin
5. Well now you’ve got me thinking about you…naked…
6. Haha sorry, but I was having not-so-innocent thoughts about you just now. raise eyebrows
7. Oh you know, just admiring how good you look today look them up and down
8. Trying to work up the courage to finally ask for your number. blushing smile
9. Imagining silly couple things we could do together like picnics and museum dates.
10. Would it totally freak you out if I said I was imagining us kissing? bite lip nervously

Also Read: How to Respond to ‘How Did You Sleep’: 30+ Flirty, Witty And Savage Responses

10 Best Comebacks (Editor’s Choice)

Out of all the snappy retorts out there, I especially love these 10 clever responses. They run the gamut from witty banter to savage clapbacks, so there’s an ideal comeback for every “what are you thinking about” situation:

1. I Could Tell You, But Then I’d Have To Kill You

This tongue-in-cheek spy move pulls no punches. It lets people know their question was invasive, while also injecting some action-flick excitement into an otherwise dull conversation.

When To Use:

• Nosy colleagues or acquaintances who don’t take a hint
• People who clearly don’t respect personal boundaries

When To Avoid:

• Your sweet grandma just making friendly conversation
• Using it more than once on the same person

2. Bold of You To Assume I Was Thinking

A snarky self-deprecating comment is the perfect response when you don’t actually have an interesting thought to share. It catches people off-guard with humor rather than putting them off with a standoffish answer.

When To Use:

• Moments when your mind is completely blank
• When awkward small talk is required

When To Avoid:

• Important work meetings
• Romantic date night conversations

3. About How Weird It Is To Have Random Thoughts Interrupted By Silly Questions

Oh the sass! This comeback calls out the ridiculousness of their query by directly tying your thoughts to their interruption. It lets them know their question stopped more interesting musings.

When To Use:

• When you actually were contemplating something important
• The 2nd or 3rd time they’ve interrupted your thinking

When To Avoid:

• Your boss or parent sincerely asking what’s on your mind
• When you need to make a good first impression

4. Puppy Sized Elephants

Going with an outrageously silly answer accomplishes two things: it catches them off guard with humor and prevents you from spilling private details. This one is random enough to get a laugh without seeming like you’re hiding something juicy.

When To Use:

• When keeping your contemplations private
• To spark smiles from grumpy people

When To Avoid:

• Serious conversations requiring straightforward answers
• When you actually do have scandalous thoughts to hide

5. Ask Me No Questions and I’ll Tell You No Lies

This cheeky response calls out their nosiness without being overly rude. It makes clear you have private thoughts not intended for them, while also paying homage to classic comebacks.

When To Use:

• When politely declining to share personal details
• With friends who will appreciate the clever reference

When To Avoid:

• Unsophisticated crowds unfamiliar with its origin
• Using it excessively with the same circle of friends

6. I Apologize, but My Attorney Has Advised Me Not to Discuss Hypothetical Situations

Pulling out this formal and exaggeratedly professional response is guaranteed to get a laugh. It mocks legal jargon by implying you cannot legally divulge imagined scenarios…when really you just don’t want to explain your quirky daydream.

When To Use:

• When you need an amusing response STAT
• For fanatical daydreamers

When To Avoid:

• No-nonsense coworkers lacking a sense of humor
• Actually serious conversations

7. Definitely Not Wondering Why You Think My Private Thoughts Are Any of Your Business

Snark Level 100! This unapologetic comeback presents their question as an unacceptable invasion of privacy rather than light banter. It lets nosy folks know their boundaries violations will not be tolerated.

When To Use:

• When acquaintances overstep
• For repeat offenders

When To Avoid:

• Sweet old relatives who mean no harm
• Early relationship conversations

8. Well Now I’m Thinking About How Hilarious/Awkward This Conversation Is

Turning the focus back on their rude question allows you to control the narrative without overreacting. It playfully highlights the inappropriateness of prying into someone’s headspace while bringing levity back to your chat.

When To Use:

• When you don’t want to create conflict
• During first date conversations

When To Avoid:

• Serious work meetings
• Emotionally heated clashes

9. Oh Just Contemplating World Domination, No Big Deal

Bring on the melodrama! Busting out an ostentatiously exaggerated response catches folks off guard with humor. It mocks the assumption that you must be thinking something fascinating enough to share.

When To Use:

• When looking to spark smiles from grumpy people
• To amuse yourself in dull conversations

When To Avoid:

• Suspicious eavesdroppers

10. If I Told You, I’d Have to Eat You

What’s better than a clever callback to childhood jokes? This familiar refrain brings lighthearted nostalgia to an otherwise annoying question. It’s an ideal redirect when you want to seem mischievously coy rather than standoffish.

When To Use:

• When playfully dodging nosy kids’ questions
• For disarming suspicious significant others

When To Avoid:

• Overly literal or humorless crowds
• In professional work settings

How to Reply to a Girl

When a girl asks what you’re thinking about, you have a prime flirting opportunity. Use it wisely with these playful yet respectful responses:

1. I was just thinking about how pretty your smile is. flirty grin
2. Wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime. hopeful smile
3. Daydreaming about taking you on a romantic picnic date.
4. Imagining silly adventures we could go on together like hot air balloon rides over the city.
5. Hoping I can work up the courage to ask for your number soon. bites lip nervously
6. Well now you’ve got me thinking about you and where our next date could be!
7. Trying to find the perfect words to compliment how nice your laugh is! smiles shyly

Flirty responses show romantic interest without objectification. Express positive sentiments about her personality rather than overtly focusing on physical appearances.

How to Reply to a Guy

Responding playfully yet sincerely when a guy asks this question leaves the door open for further conversation:

1. Wondering if we might have some common interests to talk about over coffee together.
2. Hoping I can get to know you better since you seem like a really interesting person!
3. Thinking about where you’d most like to go on a fun date in this city.
4. Imagining what twists and turns our conversational adventures could take next! intrigued look
5. You first! What were YOU just thinking about? flirty smile
6. Well, now that you mention it, I was just thinking we should exchange numbers. hopeful look
7. Daydreaming about when I might run into you again. bites lip

The key is to balance flirting with genuine interest about his thoughts and feelings as well.

When All Else Fails…

If you’re drawing a complete blank or don’t want to craft a clever retort, you can always respond honestly:

• To be totally honest, my mind was wandering and I have no idea!
• I was completely zoning out – what were we talking about again?
• sheepish grin Just lost in my own little world over here! What’s up?

Comebacks not required! It’s completely normal for minds to wander or need an occasional reset.

In Conclusion

Having a snappy or sweet comeback ready for “what are you thinking about” prying makes things much easier. But overpreparing can also backfire. As the cheeky responses above show, part of the fun is in thinking fast and catching folks off guard now and then with your quick wit!

Choose the tone – flirty, funny, snarky – that best fits the moment. And don’t be afraid to simply be real and admit you actually have no clue!

Hopefully these examples give you plenty of clever retorts that let people know your inner world is off limits without seeming rude or awkward. Just remember to have fun with it!