Have you ever told someone what you think, only for them to say something like “I’ll be the judge of that”? Like they don’t believe you or think they know better than you?
Yeah, that’s really annoying, isn’t it? It’s like they’re acting all bossy and think they’re smarter than you.
Well guess what? You don’t have to just sit there and take it!
There are lots of funny and smart things you can say back to them that will make them stop being so rude.
And guess what else? After reading this, you’ll know exactly what to say the next time someone tries to “be the judge” of what you think.
You’ll be ready to handle it like a pro!
1. Sarcastic Comebacks
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were appointed the supreme authority on my life.”
Sarcasm is a great way to call out someone’s arrogance in thinking they can judge you. A few other snarky replies:
- “Wow, I had no idea you were omniscient! Please, share more of your infinite wisdom.”
- “Gee, thanks for letting me know. I’ll be sure to run all my thoughts and opinions by you from now on.”
- “I must have missed the memo about you being the ultimate arbiter of truth.”
- “Oh, you’re a judge now? I thought you were just a regular person with opinions, like the rest of us.”
2. Dismissive Responses
“That’s nice. Anyway, as I was saying…”
Sometimes the best response is to simply brush off their comment and continue with what you were saying. It shows that their judginess doesn’t faze you. Other dismissive replies:
- “Mmmkay. So moving on…”
- “Thanks for sharing. Now back to what I was talking about.”
- “I don’t remember asking for your stamp of approval, but okay.”
- “Your opinion is noted. Anyway…”
3. Humorous Answers
“Great, I’ll send you my memoir to review when it’s finished!”
Humor is a great way to diffuse tension while still making it clear that their comment was out of line. More funny responses:
- “Awesome, I’ll be sure to submit my next life decision to you for official scoring.”
- “Ooh, can I get one of those judge’s robes and a gavel too? I wanna play!”
- “If you’re the judge, then I demand a trial by combat!”
- “I hereby sentence you to lighten up and stop judging people.”
4. Direct Callouts
“What makes you think you’re qualified to judge me on this?”
Sometimes you need to directly question why they think they have the authority to judge you. It forces them to examine their own arrogance. Other direct responses:
- “I don’t remember agreeing to let you judge me. What gives you the right?”
- “Why do you feel the need to judge others? Is it coming from a place of insecurity?”
- “I’m curious, do you often appoint yourself the judge of other people’s lives?”
- “What are your credentials for being the judge here? I must have missed them.”
5. Deflecting Answers
“I’m sure you would be a very fair and impartial judge. Anyway…”
If you don’t feel like getting into it, you can just deflect with a bit of subtle sarcasm and move on. Some other deflecting replies:
- “I’ll keep that in mind if I’m ever looking for a judge. Thanks!”
- “I appreciate your eagerness to judge. Anyway, back to what I was saying…”
- “Noted. I’ll be sure to submit my case to your courthouse later. Moving on…”
- “I’ll add your judicial opinion to the record. Now as I was saying…”
6. Philosophical Responses
“We’re all our own judges in the end, don’t you think? Anyway…”
Get deep and make them ponder the nature of judgment itself. That’ll stop them in their tracks! More philosophical replies:
- “Ah yes, the eternal question of who has the right to judge others. Anyway…”
- “Isn’t the whole point of life to learn and grow through our own experiences and judgments?”
- “I believe we all have to be true to ourselves first and foremost. But I hear your perspective.”
- “In my view, we’re each the ultimate judge of our own lives. What do you think about that idea?”
7. Redirecting Answers
“Well, that’s an interesting perspective. Hey, what did you think of the game last night?”
Change the subject to something completely unrelated. This makes it clear you’re done with their judgmental comment. Other redirections:
- “Huh, I didn’t know you felt that way. Oh hey, did you see that viral dog video?”
- “Thanks for weighing in. So how about this weather we’re having, huh?”
- “I hear you. Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask – how’s your new job going?”
- “Interesting take. Anyway, what are your thoughts on pineapple on pizza? Personally I’m a fan.”
8. Challenging Responses
“I’m curious, what information are you basing your judgment on exactly?”
Put the onus on them to explain their reasoning. Chances are they don’t have a good justification. More challenging replies:
- “What specific experiences or knowledge makes you feel qualified to judge this?”
- “I’m open to feedback. Can you elaborate on why you think you know better than me about this?”
- “Interesting. Walk me through your thought process on why you feel you can judge me.”
- “I’m always looking to learn. What insights are you basing your judgment on that I may have missed?”
9. Flip-it-Around Comebacks
“Great, and I’ll be the judge of whether your judgments hold any weight!”
Give them a taste of their own medicine by flipping their comment around on them. They probably won’t like being judged! Other turnarounds:
- “Perfect, and I’ll be the judge of your ability to judge.”
- “Works for me, as long as I get to be the judge of your life too!”
- “Okay, but only if you agree that I’ll be the judge of all your choices from now on.”
- “Deal! And I’ll be sure to judge your performance as a judge.”
10. Agree-and-Amplify Responses
“You’re right, I hereby appoint you Grand High Ultimate Supreme Judge of my entire life!”
Take their judgment to a ridiculous extreme to highlight how absurd it is for them to appoint themselves as your judge. More over-the-top replies:
- “Absolutely, in fact I think you should quit your job and become a full-time professional Judge of Me.”
- “Of course, your power to judge is truly awe-inspiring! I bow down to your judgmental superiority.”
- “Yes, I will be sure to live every moment according to your esteemed judgment from now on, oh wise one.”
- “You’re so right, I don’t know how I’ve survived this long making my own judgments without your guidance!”
Replying to a Girl
When a girl hits you with the dreaded “I’ll be the judge of that,” the key is to keep your cool and not get defensive. Laugh it off with a witty retort like:
- “Well I sure hope I pass judgment, your honor! I’d hate to be held in contempt of your court of opinion.”
- “I didn’t realize I was on trial in the High Court of You! Should I be calling you ‘Your Judgeship’ from now on?”
The idea is to make it playfully clear that you don’t take her self-appointed authority too seriously. It shows confidence and that you can handle a bit of banter.
Replying to a Guy
Dudes can be competitive, so when a guy tries to act like the supreme judge of your life, you may need to take a more direct approach. Try a response like:
- “That’s cute, but last I checked, I was the leading authority on my own life. But thanks for your opinion!”
- “I must have missed the election that made you the Chairman of the ‘Judging Me’ Committee. When’s the next vote?”
Keeping it light but firm sends the message that you’re not going to just roll over and accept his judgment without question. Stand your ground!
Key Takeaways
- Remember, no one has the right to judge you but you. Don’t let anyone appoint themselves the authority over your life!
- The best responses are witty, confident, and non-defensive. Use humor and sarcasm to make your point.
- If all else fails, just change the subject! You don’t owe them any more of your time or mental energy.
The Final Judgment
In the end, when someone says “I’ll be the judge of that,” they’re just trying to boss you around. But you don’t have to let them!
Now that you know a bunch of funny and smart things to say back, you’ll feel brave and ready to stick up for yourself.
So go out there and remember that what you think matters! And if anyone tries to tell you they know better, you’ve got this.
Just use one of the comebacks you learned, and show them who’s boss. Boom, problem solved!