Funny Responses to “What Do You Want To Eat?”: 59+ Witty & Sarcastic Replies

I often get asked for advice on witty, amusing, or clever responses to the common question “What do you want to eat?”. This seems like a simple inquiry about preferences for a meal, but it can trigger decision paralysis and put pressure on us to suggest something appealing.

I’ll provide a multitude of funny, disarming replies to give you an arsenal of options next time you’re asked this question. Whether responding to friends, family, a date, or partner, these humorous comebacks can ease tension and lead to playful banter.

A Direct, Satisfying Answer

When posed the question “What do you want to eat?”, the most straightforward response would be:

“I’m craving buffalo wings and a cold beer.”

This reply names a specific food desire directly after the question is asked, avoiding uncertainty or hesitation. The addition of “and a cold beer” introduces a touch of humor assuming alcohol pairing with the wings. This answer matches the simple format of the inquiry with a focused response naming my current appetite.

Providing a clear preference relieves the pressure of being put on the spot and having to ponder all cuisine options available. Buffalo wings and beer won’t necessarily sound good for everyone, but the simplicity and decisiveness of this response discontinues the “What do you want?” back and forth.

Now let’s explore an extensive variety of funny, clever reactions beyond the mundane…

Hilarious Comebacks & Witty Retorts

When responding to the question “What do you want to eat?”, there are limitless comical replies to interject humor, wit, and playfulness into the conversation. Here are 10 categories with examples.

1. Absurdist Statements

These bizarre responses completely disregard providing an actual food preference:

“A shoe filled with hamsters.”

Highlighted Example: “Deep fried automobile tires.”

Absurdist statements baffle listeners by being improbably absurd. The shock value gets a reaction and moves the focus beyond simply naming a dish to eat. For example, emphatically requesting deep fried car tires conjures a silly, imaginary dish that catches people off guard.

More options:

• Boiled elbow macaroni in pumpkin spice sauce
• A fruit salad featuring only hairy kiwis and overripe bananas
• An overcast day with a chance of meatballs

2. Dad Joke Responses

Dad jokes are known for painfully corny puns. These food-related examples play on hungry/hungry homophones:

“I could eat the hungry!”

Highlighted Example: “I’m feeling a little hungry-hippo.”

The subtle wordplay on Hungry Hungry Hippos amusement game title suggests your appetite is as voracious as the little toy hippos. These cringeworthy dad jokes diffuse tension with harmless groan-inducing puns.

More options:

• I’m craving everything bagel under the sun.
• A pizza de resistance!
• Nacho usual cuisine requests.

3. Cryptic Mysteries

These intriguing yet perplexing responses present a riddle instead of naming a dish:

“Something that will soothe my soul as much as my stomach.”

Highlighted Example: “A taste of nostalgia with a hope of adventure.”

This poetic, cryptic response suggests desired flavors conjuring cozy, familiar tastes along with thrilling new ingredients. The mystifying language sparks curiosity about what exact dish would manifest those sensations.

More options:

• A flavor profile as dynamic as the northern lights.
• An embrace for the mouth comparable to a warm hug.
• Sweet and savory memories blanketed in comfort.

4. Sassy Comebacks

These clever quips have a saucy tone poking fun at the question itself:

“Surprise me, honey bunches.”

Highlighted Example: “How unoriginal! Ask me something no one would expect.”

This cheeky reply mocks the generic nature of the inquiry, essentially scolding its mundanity. The flirtatious nickname “honey bunches” softens the criticism. This challenges someone to come up with a more creative, unexpected question to determine an ideal meal.

More options:

• Take me on a dinner date first before probing into my cravings.
• I thought psychics guess what people desire, not ask outright!
• Oh I bet you say that to all the girls/guys!

5. Philosophical Perspectives

These reflective responses ponder the subjective, unanswerable nature of preferences:

“Who’s to say what one truly wants to eat?”

Highlighted Example: “The heart wants what it wants, however fleeting those impulses may be.”

This lofty reaction points out the transient nature of cravings ebbing and flowing. It suggests our whims cannot be simplified to name a single food item.

More options:

• I don’t wish to be pigeonholed into selecting one option among life’s infinite delicacies.
• Such relative longing depends on changing contexts out of my control in this moment.
• Are you asking what my temporal taste buds desire or what my soul eternally craves?

6. Sarcastic Quotes

These mock famous movie/TV lines hint food options:

“Show me the carbs!”

Highlighted Example: “I’ll have what she’s having.”

This quotes the famous deli scene about a woman’s orgasm from When Harry Met Sally. Applying it as a response implies you’ll order whatever someone else is having since they seem satisfied.

More options:

• “If you bake it, I will come.” – A League of Their Own
• “Here’s looking at food, kid.” – Casablanca
• “I don’t always know what I want to eat, but when I do know, it changes 5 minutes later” – The Most Interesting Man in the World

7. Song Lyrics

These musical excerpts poetically evoke foods:

“Brass in pocket, sugar on me.”

Highlighted Example: “Butter it up, baby now we’re cooking”

This lyrics line from “Love Shack” by the B-52s compares lust to slathering food in butter, having playful romantic overtones perfect for flirting over dinner.

More options:

• “Strawberry wine and 17” – Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter
• “He popped the question ‘bout family dinners ‘round the table” – Ho Hey by The Lumineers

-“Orange crush with tasty waves” – Riptide by Vance Joy

8. Oblique References

These indirectly allude to preferences without naming specifics:

“I’m Jonesing for something salty and sweet”

Highlighted Example: “I’m craving comfort cuisine from my childhood.”

This suggests flavors reminiscent of nostalgic home cooking without requiring you to pinpoint an exact dish. It provides guidance your response desires something warm, familiar, and cozy without limitations.

More options:

• I could use some spice and sizzle to jazz up my taste buds.
• Something saucy, savory, and oh so satisfying.
• An infusion of flavors as rich as the autumn harvest season.

9. Playful Teasing

These responses use silly taunts or loving mockery:

“Aww, are you offering to cook me dinner? So sweet!”

Highlighted Example: “You must take me to flavor town often if you expect me to reveal all my food fantasies.”

This comeback playfully accuses your dining partner of not knowing your tastes well enough yet to answer without suggestions. The humor softens the critical undertones into gentle ribbing more apt for bantering couples trying new restaurants together.

More options:

• If you really want to seduce me, wine and dine me first!
• Oh darling, it’s so hard to think clearly when I’m dizzy with hunger!
• This indecisiveness is why you’re not the chef in this relationship!

10. Deflections

Skillfully avoid answering by shifting focus entirely elsewhere:

“Oooh, have you seen the dessert menu?? Looks divine!”

Highlighted Example: “Before we order, we definitely need to try the house cocktail special!”

This distracts from naming an entrée by pivoting excitement toward tempting libations or sweets instead. It playfully sidesteps the question without rudely ignoring it.

More options:

• “Well seeing as you’re paying, why don’t YOU choose for me?”
• “Hmm not sure, but while we decide, shall we dance?”
• “Oh gosh, the dinner rush crowd is so loud in here! Want to chat outside for a bit?”

Tailoring Replies: Flirting vs Friends

When utilizing funny reactions to lighten the mood about choosing a meal, consider tailoring your response based on the relationship dynamic:

Flirtatious Banter

If intrigued by a romantic prospect or wanting to get flirty on a date, choose playful comebacks laced with admiration, praise, or spicy innuendo:

“Why don’t we skip straight to dessert? I’ll have a slice of you, handsome.”

This flirty retort cheekily deflects naming an actual food in favor of showing amorous intentions instead. It playfully objectifies your date, comparing their appeal to a sweet indulgence.

Buddies & Family

Around close friends or relatives where you can joke more cavalierly, use sarcasm and hyperbole:

“Wow, way to put me on the spot! I’ll have a piping hot serving of your finest awkwardness, please…”

This exaggerated response pokes fun at the innocuous question making you feel uncomfortable or anxious about deciding. The formal language mocking fancy restaurant etiquette adds absurdity.

Key Takeaways

• Break tension by interjecting humor when asked about dining preferences
• Amuse and intrigue listeners with imaginative, cryptic, or philosophical responses instead of just naming a dish
• Tailor your comedic reply based on the relationship dynamic with the asker

Parting Words

The next instance when posed the cliché question “What do you want to eat?”, resist the boring routine of simply stating a cuisine craving. Instead, energize the conversation by serving up a hearty helping of hilarity with these whimsical responses! Bon appétit!