It seems the President of the United States is struggling with basic shapes and colors again.
On Monday, The Daily Show host Jon Stewart had to take time out of his evening to teach Donald Trump a lesson in elementary geography.
The topic at hand was the President’s bizarre obsession with annexing Greenland.
You would think the man currently running the free world would know what the world actually looks like.
The “Neighbor” Delusion
Stewart played a clip of Trump trying to justify this massive land grab.
Trump argued, “If we don’t do it, Russia or China will take over Greenland, and we’re not going to have Russia or China as a neighbor.”
Yes, you read that right.
The President thinks buying Greenland stops Russia from being our neighbor.
Stewart, visibly confused, asked the question we were all thinking.
“Why do we even need Greenland?! Why?!”
The host then did what any teacher would do for a slow student.
He displayed a map on the screen.
It clearly showed that Russia and Alaska are practically touching.
As the audience laughed at the absurdity, Stewart laid out the facts.
“Russia’s already our neighbor. This is where Greenland is. Russia is closer!”
Box Logic
Stewart couldn’t resist mocking the spatial awareness of our leader.
“Unless in your mind you think Alaska lives in a box next to Hawaii.”
It is terrifying that this might actually be how the President sees the world.
Stewart then offered a sarcastic solution to Trump’s fear of Russia taking over Greenland.
He suggested we try something other than “arrogance or conquest.”
“What if we formed like kind of an alliance with Denmark and Greenland?” Stewart asked.
He even had a catchy name for this imaginary group.
“What would we call this? Like almost like a North Atlantic Treaty Organization.”
If only the President knew what NATO was.
The Irony of The Boat
The segment went from dumb to delusional very quickly.
Stewart played another clip where Trump dismissed Denmark’s claim to Greenland.
Trump said, “I’m a fan of Denmark, but you know the fact that they had a boat land there 500 years ago doesn’t mean that they own the land.”
The lack of self-awareness is honestly painful.
Stewart looked like he was about to scream.
“Can someone pass him a note? How do you think we got our land?!”
It is the most basic fact of American history.
“We landed here on a f*cking boat 500 years ago, and it was ours!” Stewart shouted.
Accidental Wokeness
Stewart pointed out that the President accidentally stumbled into a progressive argument.
“That’s like the argument you make when you want to give land back to the people who were already there, not for you to then take it because you’ve got a bigger boat.”
It is hilarious that Trump is so greedy he circled all the way back to anti-colonialism.
Stewart summed it up perfectly.
“You’re doing some weird reverse woke land acknowledgement.”
We really need to get the President a globe.
