Oh, the sweet, delicious irony of it all. Remember when the Right spent years screaming about “low stamina” and “Sleepy Joe”? It seems the tables have turned so hard they have spun right off their axis. According to a delicious new report from the Wall Street Journal, it is now Donald Trump, the 79-year-old MAGA patriarch, who is struggling to stay awake.
Panic in the West House
It appears the energy in the White House is less “high voltage” and more “nap time.” An insider tells the Wall Street Journal that the President’s own staff is practically begging him to keep his peepers open when the cameras are rolling. You can almost smell the desperation. White House aides are reportedly “fearing the optics of his appearing to fall asleep.”
If that is the case, their fears are becoming reality. The man has routinely dozed off at public events in recent months. You would think the leader of the free world could manage to stay conscious for a photo op, but apparently, the bar is on the floor.
Just Resting? Sure, Jan.
Naturally, Trump isn’t admitting to needing a nap like a toddler after juice time. He maintains that he is just giving his eyes a rest. Right. And I am just resting my bank account when I go shopping.
“I’ll just close. It’s very relaxing to me,” Trump has said of shutting his eyes.
He even has a conspiracy theory for his eyelids. “Sometimes they’ll take a picture of me blinking, blinking, and they’ll catch me with the blink.”
Critics are not buying that line, and honestly, neither am I. Cameras have captured Trump with his eyes closed for an extended period on multiple occasions, including at a Cabinet meeting last month. That is not a blink, Donald. That is a REM cycle.
Shorten the Slideshow
The situation has become so dire that the administration is changing how the government functions just to keep the boss awake. Administration officials tell the Wall Street Journal that White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles has “urged cabinet members to shorten their presentations” so the president does not become bored and doze off.
Imagine being a high-ranking government official and being told you have to dumb down your national security briefing because the President might snooze through the good parts. It is absolutely humiliating.
The Air Force One Babysitters
Despite boasting for years that he requires little sleep, his public snoozing has not changed his habits, the Wall Street Journal reports. In fact, he still requires at least one staff member to stay up with him on Air Force One while others sleep.
It sounds less like a presidency and more like a sleepover where you are terrified to fall asleep first. The MAGA crowd wanted a strongman, but it looks like they got a man who just needs a strong cup of coffee and a pillow.
